2016-2022

The DIY years...

In 2016 I began drifting away from My Little Pony as a muse, and started exploring my gender and identity. Growing up in Pittsburgh, PA, I was surrounded by a thriving DIY emo and punk scene, that I had spent quite a bit of time within. No longer feeling the call to make fandom music, it only made sense to build connections in my local scene.

I started the band SOFT GIRL, along with my now husband, Audrey, and a mutual friend. Audrey created our mascot, a furry bunny character, who became the face of SOFT GIRL. In the local scene, SOFT GIRL became a hit, and we were playing multiple shows a month for a couple years. Our covers of the music from Night in the Woods became particularly popular online as well, helping spread our DIY emo sound.

SOFT GIRL in its original form broke up, and stopped playing shows, but I continued on with Audrey performing as my solo alias Just Fern. My album All the Space I've Taken Up got a lot of attention, and is one of my best albums to this day. As part of this record, I was drawing furry art of a cat and bird character, who were two trans girlfriends, and included prints of this art on some of the releases.

Exploring my identity at this point was very important for me, and led to major explorations in my music. I felt no limit to the sounds I could make, and created some of the most interesting and also weirdest music I have ever made. I took estrogen and wrote about the intense emotions that I felt during that time. I had never felt comfortable in my body before, and finally I got the chance to experience real euphoria for being myself.

One of the tracks I released at this time was the unassuming "I'll Steal U Food", which tells the story of a raccoon feeding their injured lover. Between a lot of the themes of finding yourself, and the art I was drawing at the time, the furry fandom really helped guide me at this time. I remember seeing developments in the music scene, which had always been sort of fractured and small, as it started to become a more cohesive community.

At the end of 2019, I would finally move out of my hometown, spreading my wings and heading to Charlotte, NC, followed by Albuquerque, NM. The experience of leaving helped me grow, but I still remain homesick for the place I grew up, cut my teeth, and learned the true ties that bind creatives together. In Charlotte, I recorded my album Vine Star Rehab, which is a concept album detailing the story of a catgirl who goes to hell.

Over the next few years, my musical output became less frequent, although my visualizer for the album SPACE II included a fox character named Julian Moon (named after a brief alias I used in 2014). For the most part, during this period, I laid low and didn't focus on art or music, aside from one-off songs like "Road Kill Cafe" or "Black Dog/Silver Line" It was a time of deep reflection, while out West.

To the right you can see one of my own drawings from this period, a portrait of my silver fox fursona.